He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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