I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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