VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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