Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
