Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
