I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
