Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
