I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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