Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
