he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
