i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
