I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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