shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Less talking, more tequila
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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