I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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