talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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