We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
