We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
