She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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