I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
