Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
