I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
