I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize