Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
