There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
