singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
