Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
