she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
