found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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