the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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