why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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