Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
