Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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