one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
