so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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