Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
