babies were throwing up all over the place
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
