Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Randomize