I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
