did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
