If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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