Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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