I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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