I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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