How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
