My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
