Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
