I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
