he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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