I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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