a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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