Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
