oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
