What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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