The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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