That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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