its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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