My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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