I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
