Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
