just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
zippers are such a cool invention
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
