Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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