wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
