Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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