it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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