I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
