i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
