fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Bring me that man meat
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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