I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
