We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
