summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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