At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
