Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
