How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
