Can i not drive my cunt home
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize