then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
