Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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