but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
