This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
