I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
