i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize