That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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