this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
