it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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